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UNIVERSITY MULTIMEDIA
RESOURCE CENTRE

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SANDOZ PRESENTS

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SELF-PORTRAIT OF A SCHIZOPHRENIC

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MEDICAL ADVISOR: PROF. D. J. DUCHÉ

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DIRECTOR: ERIC DUVIVIER

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FEATURING PIERRE CLÉMENTI

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IMAGES: RENÉ GOSSET
EDITING: JOËL COURTINAT

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PRODUCTION COMPANY:
ART ET SCIENCE

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A SCHIZOPHRENIC
BEQUEATHED TO ME

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AN AUTHENTIC SCRIPT
OF HIS DELIRIUM.

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HERE THE CAMERA
ASSUMES HIS POINT OF VIEW...

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D. J. DUCHÉ

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Cold

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Cold

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Cold

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On the rubble of dreams

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Where the universe defaces itself

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When the mind creaks from silence

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At the crossroads of winds
tied with extreme weariness

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Immobile desert

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Suffocating desert

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Deafening

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Desert

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<i>Cold, cold, cold</i>

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<i>On the rubble of dreams</i>

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<i>Where the universe defaces itself</i>

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Emptiness is my mirror

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Death my companion

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Here I lie

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I'm naught of myself anymore

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Anguish

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Anguish

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Anguish

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Anguish

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I'm staggering

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Harassed

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Ruined

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Stifled

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Exhausted

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Broken

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Lacerated

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Dislocated

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Strangled

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Suffocated

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Torn up

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Pulled to pieces

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At the most sonorous suffering

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At the weariest exhaustion

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At the hollowest wretchedness

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Strange rumours glide

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Wildly and weirdly animated

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My bedroom shifts

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Split up in countless shapes

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Phantasmagorical

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And burst into a boiling unit

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It softens my individuality

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Suffocates and digests me

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Overwhelmed

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Overcome by this dreadful agitation
through which I flounder, convulsively

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Desperately

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I collapse

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Central exhaustion

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Cerebral constriction

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Burst halo of a sun
Wounded in waiting naked

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My whole body is blurring

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Breaking down, splitting up
Scattering into a hazy, contorted sky

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I keel over into the utter turbulence

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whereto my soul escapes
into scattered shards

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From the innermost depths
of the final abyss

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I'm watching myself go about my life

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Trephined

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Castrated

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I can feel my thoughts fraying

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All my movements detached from me

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Extreme clouding of the mind

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On light and sonorous beaches

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the tidal wave of a mad and awkward love

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Takes away children
Intoxicated with magical, clear music

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<i>At 7 years old, he produced novels</i>
<i>On the life of the great desert</i>

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<i>Where delighted freedom glistens</i>

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<i>Forest, sun, shores, savannahs </i>

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<i>He used illustrated papers</i>

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<i>Where, red-faced, he gazed</i>
<i>at laughing Spanish women</i>

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<i>and Italian ones too</i>

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In the lucid morning

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The beloved arises
Dripping with delectable perfumes

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A stench of destitution

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Corpses of noise

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Colours of suicide

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Surround me

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Grab me

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Pull me

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The vagaries of insomnia
erase nightmares

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I wait
I wait

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For the blaze crackling with pictures

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In loud colours

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Where my enemies dance

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In the depths of dull lassitude

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Blaze dark, empty pyres

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Abandoned by dreams

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Lost childhood swirling on the shores

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Hands

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Of a disfigured weight

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Are kneading my skull

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which is contorting,
withered beyond possible

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A slimy vice is crushing
my uprooted, cracking brain

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Patches of thought are crumbling

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A torn out cry

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A spat out cry

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A distorted cry
A broken cry

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Authenticates me

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A stranger to myself

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I can feel my being
gradually peeling away from reality

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A vile psychic force is sucking me in

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It's carrying my body into a...

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Into a world that...

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Still waters

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Where the worlds are closing

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Where I'm sinking

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While I try to believe

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That I'm not quite dead

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I feel so old

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So heavy and so bitter
For lack of recognition

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A distraught wait, my condition

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Buried in this same silence

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Where shrouds of naked water quiver

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I dream the reflection of your pale face

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Floating on the soothed ocean

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A romance casts its light
on the rubble of a sleepwalking summer

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Castaway amidst the horrid exodus
Of stones illuminated with insanity

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Deep in a faraway park

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Sprays of smiles from a beloved face

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Wild solitude suffocated
by the backwash of unhappiness

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Everything is slipping

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Yet staying petrified
within the incurable grief

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of a place abandoned

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by longing itself

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Harsh despair

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Suffocating wait

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The frenzy is congealing

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Pain is furrowing

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Like some lifeless matter

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I run aground on the dunghill of death

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Its ashen peace

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Fills me with disgust

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Strangled by boredom

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Silence extinguishes me

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I'm but the shadow of myself

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<i>He can barely open his mouth</i>

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<i>The chorus borrows his role</i>

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<i>And helps him tell</i>
<i>how the queen hung herself</i>

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<i>And how Oedipus gouged his eyes out</i>

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<i>With her golden pin</i>

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<i>Then</i>

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<i>the epilogue</i>

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<i>The king is captured</i>

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<i>He wants to appear in front of all</i>

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<i>Show the vile beast</i>

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<i>The incestuous,</i>
<i>the parricide, the lunatic</i>

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<i>He's driven out</i>

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<i>He's driven out</i>

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<i>With extreme gentleness</i>

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<i>Farewell</i>

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<i>Farewell, poor Oedipus</i>

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<i>Farewell, Oedipus</i>

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<i>You were loved</i>

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The mutilated

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Prayer

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Is climbing

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My hideous

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Flesh

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I am but a hunting soul

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I am but a passing shadow

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Charred by the fieriness of despair

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Haunted by suicide's call

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Strangled by boredom

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Cold

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Cold

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Cold desert

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Immobile desert

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Suffocating desert

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Deafening desert

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I am the wave haunted
by insane metamorphoses

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Jostling the sinister mannequin of death

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I am the happy breath of eternal silence

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Spreading through the world

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In a mysterious procession
of magical foliage

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I am also the lifeless chaos of despair

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Flying into the vaults of night

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Suppurating with anguish

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I'm losing myself
<i>Raging</i>

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Disappearing

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Added up to nothing
in the distraught absence

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Swallowing me like a thunderous sex
<i>Off-centre beings</i>

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Scatological night

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Labyrinth of pain
<i>Aborted shapes</i>

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Tunnel of anguish

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A tempestuous swell
of deathly obsessions

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Surrounds me, infiltrates me

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Up to the deepest hollow where I petrify

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Causing a congestion of conglutinates
Spinning around each other

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<i>Death</i>

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<i>Death</i>

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<i>I sing to her</i>

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<i>And from then on</i>

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<i>Admirable miracle</i>

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<i>Death seems to be</i>

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<i>The sister of love</i>

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<i>Death which is waiting for us</i>

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<i>And love which we call upon</i>

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<i>If love doesn't come</i>

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<i>Death always will</i>

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Subtitles: Élisabeth Fuchs